Barry's dad told Barry he was a tuna. But Barry was hard of hearing,so he thought dad said play the tuba. Barry really wanted to do as dadsaid, but Barry was a very very small tuna, so there was no way thatBarry could play the tuba, which is a very large and heavy musicalinstrument. Therefore Barry took up the trombone, instead.

Dad also said, "Whatever you do, son, don't be a sardine." Barrythought dad said "Above all else, don't be seen." So Barry gave up theidea of being a trombone playing rock star and settled for theanonymity of the philharmonic orchestra.

But which philharmonic orchestra? Barry had always dreamed oftraveling in exotic lands, but when dad said "stay close to shore",Barry thought he meant "go to Ulan Bator."

At that point, Barry told his dad to go be a bottom feeder (a ruderetort in tuna-ese), and Barry set off to join the London Philharmonic instead.

It took many years for Barry to get to the Thames. Then Barry died,clutching his trombone in his fins, while trying to climb out of theriver.

Moral of our story: To a hearing-impaired trombone-playing tuna,London might as well be Ulan Bator.

Fiction Sampler